The Witch of Malphe III is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, notable for its irreverence towards religion, suspicion of poets, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 12.117 billion Third Malphaes live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.7%.

The strong Third Malphaen economy, worth 742 trillion Malphaen Denarii a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 61,302 Malphaen Denarii, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 395,101 per year while the poor average 3,842, a ratio of 102 to 1.

Bicyclists are banned from major roads, Malphe III has designated Malphe III City as its capital city, a major religion has been named as Malphe III's national religion, and Leader has just been declared ruler of Malphe III in an international press conference. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Malphe III's national animal is the Third Malphaen Woodrat.

Malphe III is ranked 52,029^th in the world and 2,729^th in Balder for Highest Food Quality, scoring 32.8 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.